Just Like Wolverine

So the Apocalypse hits and you DON’T suddenly wake up with the mutant superpowers you were expecting =(. FAKE IT!

1. Cuts through Zombies like Ginsu Knives!
2. Do the garden hedges in style now!
3. A hoot while carving Christmas dinner!
4. Look F#cking badAss in any scenario!

Get two!! : Tomahawk-Skull-Gauntlets

WaterWorld

Hahahaha and everyone laughed at you for keeping that scuba suit under your bed just in case!

It is probably a good idea to read this before investing in beachfront property: Map of Water Level Rise Projection.

…and while I add on a jetty and diving board extension to the side of our inner-city house…the neighbours look on mockingly…I scratch my chin wisely…wait…MWAHAHAHAHAHA!

Booby Trap 101

Unfortunately not as pleasant as it sounds =(

Booby Trap awareness is not just something you practice on a drunken Friday night out, its very useful knowledge in Apocalyptic situations – or to implement if someone keeps stealing your lunch out of the fridge at work.

Scenario #1:

Oh my frak! I’m being pursued by zombies/rival survival tribe member/invading aliens/archangels of the Apocalypse/ resurrected dinosaurs/ genetically modified and cloned sheep/ Pepé Le Pew

I’ll just run them into my Booby Traps previously set up for just such an occasion.

Win!

Scenario #2:

YOU - walk – walk – walk – walk – step – “CLICK” – OH FRAK! – Face palm head shake – step – “BANG”

Fail!

In any scenario, Apocalypse or general work day at the office – it is a good idea to familiarise yourself: About Booby Traps Here

I HAVE THE POWERRRRRRR

We all hope and pray that when the Apocalypse hits, the guys that know how sh!t works like Power Stations and stuff DON’T DIE and keep doing what they do but just in case it can’t hurt to know how those Generator things work.

Good to know: How to Safely Operate Generators

Entomophagy – eat-a-bug guide

Insects can  carry parasites that can make people very sick or cause death if they are eaten raw. It is suggested that all insects should be cooked, boiled, roasted, deep fried or baked.

Avoid slugs, snails, leeches etc, as they are usually laden with parasites and diseases that will kill you till you are dead.

Type: Orthoptera

Grasshoppers, cockroaches, crickets – high in protein

Note: Will apparently be abundant in most biblical versions of the Apocalypse

Type: Isoptera

Termites – high caloric and nutrition

Note: they bite!

Type: Arachnids 

Tarantulas

Note: f#cking creepy! Make sure the f#ckers dead before you put it in your mouth!

Type: Hymenoptera

Bee larvae, Ants, bees, wasps

Note: Bee larvae has a sweet & earthy flavour

Type: Coleoptera

Beetles – high protein

Note: very abundant 

Type: Ephemeroptera

Mayflies

Note: Available in months other than May

Type: Odonata

Dragonflies

Note: Much harder to catch than in Skyrim

Type: Homoptera

Cicadas, leafhoppers, mealybugs

Type: Lepidoptera

Butterflies, moths (silkworms)

Note: If enough dust from their wings is collected you can use it to fly! 

Type: Annelida

Worms – excellent for protein

Note: drop them into water first so they purge themselves clean

Zombie Bleeding Mutilated Target Dummies

Be prepared: http://www.coolest-gadgets.com/20120417/zombie-bleeding-mutilated-target-dummies/
SKIET HOM!

How-to: Build a Crossbow

If you are DIY retarded you could always find different people to make each component in the different steps, leaving you with only the assembly – that way no one will know you are making a Sherwood Forest Armoury in your garden shed.

Instructables here: How-to Build a Crossbow

DIY Wrist-Mounted Crossbow

With Laser Pointer!!!

MAP of the DEAD

The Zombie Apocalypse hits f#ck!

Got to get a gun! Got to go grocery shopping! Stop past the liquor store! Best Rout?

Find it here: MAP of the DEAD

It’s like the Zombie Apocalypse version of A Stalkers Map to the Stars.

I’m totally fantasising my pillage To-do list off of this…

Suggestion #4: Slingshot Zombiehammer with Skull Ejector – GIT YOU WUN!

This is the absolute ultimate Zombie weapon!
@JoergSprave - All we have to say is:

Sure you won’t use it on actual people – only Zombies – us neither ;) teehee

How-to: Sharpen your knife in the wild

If it’s dry…you can spit on it?

Out in the dry Wilds:

Out in the wet Wilds:

How-to: Make a Chocolate Zombie Bunny

This may not be a post on how to survive, but it’s still really cool: How-to: Make a ChocolateZombie Bunny

Note: it is not advisable to make Chocolate Zombie Bunnies in the event of a Zombie Apocalypse; this would be frowned upon. Your group would probably find it in bad taste and decide to force feed them all to you and make you the new Group Fatty seeing as the last one was recently sacrificed to a horde of pursuing super fast zombies.

How-to: Make a Crossbow out of office supplies

In the event that the Apocalypse hits and you find yourself trapped in the office, you will need to fashion a weapon fast! Here is the step by step on how to do this: Make a Crossbow out of office supplies

Once you have fashioned your crossbow you will need to remember:

1. There are no such things as office friends during the Apocalypse
2. You will need to take them out before they do you
3. Go for the eyes boo
4. Foes are food
5. Looting them after might be just like in Skyrim except your carrying capacity is significantly lower – CEOs have higher level loot.