All you need to survive the Apocalyps

If the world ends on Friday – as some say it will – just be ready
By William Langley...

'Mad Max-style' home-built tank

Syrian rebels unveil 'Mad Max-style' home-built tank controlled by gamepad from a Sony Playstation.
This scrapyard vehicle built on the chassis of an old diesel car features five cameras and a remotely controlled machine gun!
Now heading towards flashpoint city of Aleppo to join rebel offensive...

DATING THE UNDEAD: 10-STEP GUIDE

BAGGING A ZOMBIE BABE!
Here’s a quick, 10-step guide to dating the undead...
by Jackie Mancini...

Australia Beaches Turn Blood Red

Bondi and Clovelly beaches close as red algae moves in...

Ancient Microbes Living Beneath the Surface of Antarctic Lake

ScienceDaily (Nov. 26, 2012) — This week a pioneering study published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences (PNAS) and co-authored by Dr. Alison Murray and Dr. Christian Fritsen of Nevada's Desert Research Institute (DRI) reveals, for the first time, a viable community of bacteria that survives and ekes out a living in a dark, salty and subfreezing environment beneath nearly 20 meters of ice in one of Antarctica's most isolated lakes...

Joss Whedon on the Apocalypse

Joss Whedon on Mitt Romney... and the Zombie Apocalypse - too good!
I knew there was a good reason to horde canned goods...

Prepare for the worst: Hurricane Sandy

The skies above New York begin to look ominous as the first signs of the approaching megastorm form

Head for the hills! Warning to 'go to higher ground' as 100mph winds set to batter East Coast in biggest storm EVER to hit U.S.

Subway closed at 7pm for at least 24 hours - the second time in history
New York City Mayor Bloomberg orders mandatory evacuation of 375,000 people from low-lying areas in Red Zone A
New York Stock Exchange closes trading floor on Monday
Expected storm surges along coastal areas in New York City to be anywhere from six to eleven-feet
200 National Guard Soldiers deployed to New York City by Governor Andrew Cuomo

How to Win a Fist Fight

Whether it’s a tussle over the last can of baked beans or just exercising your pimp hand, it may help you to know How to Win a Fist Fight…

Firearms Principles – Guns a tootin!

Guns – Gatgats - Boom sticks – Roscos - throw downs - harvester of sorrows – Strap - widow makers – Fofos - My little friend – toaster...

Read:

1. General Definitions
2. Gun Types
3. Ammunition Components
4. Gun Components

How to Make a Stun Gun

Because Mama don’t need no pimp…
A stun gun is a more legal less fatal form of protection and you can make your own stun gun at home.

You’ll Need:

1. Disposable camera (must have flash)
2. Wire strippers
3. Speaker wire
4. Flathead screwdriver

Mayan calendar set to expire in 100 days

The painted figure of a man through the doorway of an ancient dwelling in the Maya city Zultun in northeastern Guatemala. Picture: National Geographic, Tyrone Turner Source: AP

Doesn’t quite have the same impact as “YOU WILL DIE in 7 DAYZ”…

But my bucket list has 101 things to do; I wonder if I can get an extension?

 If you believe in the Mayan apocalypse…

How to Make Sunscreen

If the Apocalypse hits and you suddenly transform into the ‘elf an safty’ version of MacGyver then you WILL know…

If the Mad Max version of the Apocalypse hits, its nothing but sun, sun and sand, you will need to know…

If the ‘absolutely everything is covered in reflective white snow’ version of the Apocalypse hits then you will need to know...

If you are a nice shade of nerd white, then this is something that you need to know…

The Violence of a Solar Flare

The breathtaking new images that reveal the violence of a solar flare - and the beautiful aurora it created on earth
Radiation from the eruption set to hit earth within hours, creating a 'moderate geomagnetic storm'.
Incredible phenomenon could give new insight into how solar eruptions affect electricity supplied on earth.

Power Supplies During the Apocalypse

Once the Apocalypse has set in causing probable loss of day to day luxuries like electricity to your home, it is vitally important to know how to obtain alternative power sources.
So I’m thinking “He who has power has POWER right”!! Dang this info gonna help make you King Pimpdaddy of the Apocalypse…

You might want to learn:

• How to remove a car battery…
• How to wire a car inverter to a car battery…
• How to build a portable power pack…
• How to use a car alternator to make alternative energy…

Spineless creatures - threat of Extinction

(Reuters) - The vital tasks carried out by tiny "engineers" like earthworms that recycle waste and bees that pollinate crops are under threat because one fifth of the world's spineless creatures may be at risk of extinction, a study showed on Friday.

Cyborg Apocalypse - It's started

Researchers grow cyborg tissue that can sense its environment...

Oh goodie...

I'ts like watching one of those horror movies in slow motion, you know where the man walks down the slatted staircase into the dark basement...and then the 'cyborg tissue that can sense its environment' grabs his foot and pulls him through screaming... yip just like that... oh goodie.

How To Survive a Hurricane

Expect to stay bunkered down from a couple of hours to 12 hours during a large slowing moving hurricane. 

When Winds reach 40 MPH, follow these instructions:

Will Hurricanes Ever Reach Category 6

• A Category 1 hurricane on the Saffir-Simpson Scale starts at 74 mph. A Category 5 hurricane requires sustained catastrophic winds of 157 mph.
• About 200 mph is the highest that hurricane winds can theoretically reach now; with warming the upper bound could reach 220 mph.
• Climate change is likely to make storms of Category 3 and above more common.

Hacking your BRAIN with Emotive Headset

Yip...OFC you are only going to use the power for good...NOT to take over the world. Skynet, dude; did you show them how to make those...I see what you did there ^^.

• Technique uses a freely available headset often used to control games
• Researchers used it to watch for numbers a person recognised, which triggered a spike in a certain type of brain activity
• Say it could be used by police to interrogate suspects

Celestial Navigation for Survival

If you are like me, and feel like you would never be able to navigate your way from your elbow to your poop-hole without your GPS, then this is a major need-to-know for the Apocalypse.
Also… if Skynet is the eventual initiator of the apocalypse YOU CAN’T TRUST YOUR GPS! Its gonna direct you off a bridge or short cut you down a mountain…sometimes I think it’s already started trying that with me…

Navigation for Survival by:

• Improvising a compass (1st choice would be to steal one from a rival survivalist tribe…)
• Navigation using the sun (Not to be confused with moral navigation with Heyzuz, who is the SON)
• Navigating using the stick shadow method
• Navigation using the stars (Not by kidnapping a Star and forcing them to lead you – unless the apocalypse includes the moral degradation of the police force and society in general – then its cool)

If Attacked by a Zombie...

Your Zombie Apocalypse Team!!

The Future

Another Sign? Dead Birds Rain From The Sky

Millville, New Jersey residents found 80 deceased birds littering their streets earlier this week. The birds reportedly fell from the sky and trees, according to residents.

MARS: Rotate Camera on Nasa's Curiosity Rover

Curiosity rover: Martian solar day 2 in New Mexico It's not the Apocalypse but oh so cool...

• Panoramic photo from Curiosity turned into interactive image to navigate Mars
• Nasa releases brand new images of the rover from an orbiter hovering above the planet
• Curiosity successfully landed on Mars on August 5

Zombified Disney Princesses

Series of zombified Disney princesses from Thai artist Witit Karpkraikaew

The Door to Hell

The giant hole in the desert which has been on fire for more than 40 YEARS 

In the heart of the Karakum Desert is a crater made by geologists more than 40 years ago, and the flames within have been burning ever since.

Derweze in Turkmenistan - or, as the locals have called it, 'The Door to Hell'.

World On Alert For Massive Solar Storm

Power grids, communications and satellites could be knocked out by a massive solar storm in the next two years, scientists warn.

Experts say the sun is reaching a peak in its 10-year activity cycle, putting the Earth at greater risk from solar storms.

How to Shoot a Bow and Arrow

For sport officer, for sport of course…

Steps:

1. Determine your dominant eye.
2. Use equipment that matches your dominant eye.
3. Obtain the appropriate gear.
4. Assume the correct shooting stance. 
5. Nock the arrow.
6. Use three fingers to lightly hold the arrow on the string. 
7. Raise and draw your bow. 
8. Aim. 
9. Release the arrow by relaxing the fingers of your string hand. 
10. Once the arrow has left for its target, move your draw hand back and finish the shoulder rotation.
11. Shoot the full end of arrows.
12. Score your arrows if you wish.

OMFG GIT YOU WUN! – Itza Mech!

Buy your own Mech !!

OMGOMGOMG!!

You can get it online!!

*Hunting round for husband’s credit card right now…*

SPEC:

Height : about 4,000 mm / Width: about 3,000 mm / Length : about 4,000 mm / Weight : about 4,500 kg

Control system : AE V-sido

• ROBOT PILOT
• THE MOST ADVANCED CONTROL SYSTEM
• CUSTOM MADE
• EASY TO BUY

Apocalypse f#ck yeah! Woot – Woot!

GO SEE: http://suidobashijuko.jp/

The Zombie Combat Manual

Fight the undead!

• Learn all sorts of undead fighting techniques.
• Step-by-step instructions (many with illustrations).
• Focuses on found weapons - the things you find as you struggle through the apocalypse.

Read more...

Ten-four good buddy - CB Radio Repair

How Does It Work?
CB radios can both transmit and receive, they have 40 channels on which you can speak and/or listen. Mobile radios and mobile telephones work approximately the same way.


What Can Go Wrong?
OMG so many things! Especially if you are Murphy’s b!tch and you find yourself locked down in a truck or police station during an Apocalypse; zombie hordes surrounding you on all sides – which almost always happens – and there is a CB Radio that could save your life, but it doesn’t work – dun dun dun – its cool though because you read this article.
Read more...


How Can I Identify the Problem?
Power?
Fuzzy?
Crackly or Whines?
Read more...


What Basic Parts, Materials, and Tools Do I Need?
(May require a supply run just like in MMO questing)
Screwdrivers 
Wrenches
Canned air
Electronic contact cleaner
Read more...


What Are the Steps to Fixing It?
Diagnose noise on your CB radio…
Replace a CB antenna…
Clean electronic CB components…
Read more...


Read more here http://www.fixitclub.com/Electronics/CB_Radio.shtml?page=1

Another Sign: Apocalypse by Magnetic Reversal

Lopsided growth of the Earth's core could explain why its magnetic field reverses direction every few thousand years. If it happened now, we would be exposed to solar winds capable of knocking out global communications and power grids.

Read more HERE…
Journal reference: Nature Geoscience, DOI: 10.1038/ngeo1506

So little time so many ways to Apocalypse

Mayan Apocalypse
The world will end December 21 2012 because time is cyclical and is due to reset – make the circle bigger!

Asteroid Impact Apocalypse
1/700 000 chance of Smoosh! None with a romantic soundtrack.

Ice Age Apocalypse VS Global Warming Apocalypse
Climate change is inevitable it’s a matter of when not if. Water Bears say “Whatever MoFo”.

Nuclear War Apocalypse
Cuz you know all them countries have one right!?!

Biotech Disaster Apocalypse – AKA Zombie Apocalypse
Because hahaha they have been feeding us genetically modified food crap for years now without knowing what it really does – you don’t even want to know what’s gone into the oceans.

Alien Invasion Apocalypse
Why would beings clearly a lot smarter and capable than us, not take our sh!t from us and eat us!?! Thanks SETI for letting them know we’re here.

Robot Revolution Apocalypse
Because scientists just have to keep pursuing AI. Today its searching cat videos how cute; tomorrow its Googling how best to exterminate large populations of humans at one time.

Mass Insanity Apocalypse
Really sure we are already into this one… you have seen Japan right?!?

Rogue Black Hole Apocalypse
Ten million of them in the Milky Way alone; even a blind man playing putt-putt with the Earth would take those odds.

Super Volcano Apocalypse
About 500 ways the Earth could fart insignificant little us out of existence.

Read more: possible_causes_of_the_apocalypse… 

The 5 Best Improvised Weapons

Don’t tell airport security or we are all f#cked!
Low tech Combat…


An improvised weapon should:

• be a benign item that is not automatically viewed as a weapon (Surprise MoFo!!!) 
• be strong enough for its purpose (just like playing rock paper scissors...) 
• be better than an unarmed option (You may laugh at my toothpick now….but YOU have NO toothpick hahaaa!) 
• have a use outside of a weapon (Like a spoon right? Cuz you can beat them then eat them? – you can totally use a spoon as an eyelash curler too – I have seen it on youtube) 
• be able to be used quickly (No no; you wait there and stand still while I set this MoFo up so I can cut you…)

5 Best Improvised Weapons:

1. A pocket of loose change (or put it in your sock for prison style…)
2. A Backpack (What you gonna do with all that junk inside your trunk… Surprise MoFo!)
3. A Drink (I have had a few that certainly felt like weapons the next morning…)
4. A Maglight Torch (Is that a torch in your pocket or are you just happy to self defense me? )
5. Unbreakable Umbrella (OMG do they make those!?!?)

Mobile Safe House Device

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles…
No! It’s the Mobile Safe House Device… (You can still hum the theme song though while you wear it.)


Awesome!

Hyundai Elantra Zombie Survival Coupe

I practice for this everyday with my car; and it’s only a little Renault!

Hyundai prepares for Zombie apocalypse...

What you wanna bet that Rob Zombie’s ‘Dragula’ is on continual loop on this cars stereo as a manufacturing default?!

Sign of the Apocalypse?

Tons of dead sardines wash up on Chiba shore...

Suggestion #7: Ka-Bar Zombie Killer Knives - Git you sum!

Ka-BarZombie Killer Knives!

It sticks the pointy end in.

The Oberfranken Steakknife Massacre

I want to be with this guy when the Apocalypse hits!!!

... AND DEFINITELY ONLY ON HIS GOOD SIDE!

Basic Self-Defence

B!tches be coming all up in your face, touching your salvaged canned food, scoping on your shelter?

What more important a time to need to know how to defend yourself, than the Apocalypse.

Here are the basics: Basic Self-Defence Moves Anyone Can Do

The Hello Kitty Chainsaw

Queue Excalibur music and sunbeam through cloudy skies…
Ooooooooooweeeeeee - Bring on the Zombie Apocalypse! 

Only on Zombies and trees right ;) teehee

Scientific Reasons a Zombie Apocalypse Could Actually Happen

And not only because Rob Zombie decides to procreate…
Or Zombie Uncle Sam manages to conscript everyone…
Or Jesus comes back…again…the sequel to the sequel…


Top 5 Reasons:

1. Brain Parasites - toxoplasmosa gondii
2. Neurotoxins - chemicals called alkaloids
3. The Real Rage Virus - Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease
4. Neurogenesis - re-grow dead brain tissue
5. Nanobots - nano-cyborg

We would now like to suggest in our next post... The Hello Kitty Chainsaw...